If you dont take me seriously, then Ill do the same

My brain? Well... It's got its fair share of being, hmm, I don't know, wobbled around in my skull, and you know what the health experts say, wobbling will cause damage to the brain. Btw, this is an entry on brain damage and how it affects my life. Oh boy, I can confirm that it certainly does affect my life.

Gotta exercise the brain in order to keep it functioning, and because it was damaged, I kind of blacked out for a month due to the strikes and the blows to my delicate head. Black outs mean only one thing, malfunctioning. And a malfunctioning brain is definitely not good at all! You want your brain to be healthy and full of the nutrients and vitamins it needs, so stock up on those Omega-3 fatty acids, because that's the only healthy fat you shouldn't cut back on, if you're pursuing a healthy diet. Oh, and don't ever forget; quit torturing your poor brain! It's delicate, it's fragile. Think of it as porcelain, that easily breaks into smithereens all from a simple fall to the ground, and we must not allow that to happen! So take care of your brain my friend or dear stranger, because they are an organ after all, and organs tend to be soft and softness tends to be weak and easily broken, and that is very unfortunate. So remember! You've got a soft, delicate, mushy, pink perhaps, sensitive brain that should be guarded for life because it's so susceptible to becoming broken. Use that brain!

Anyways, I was recovering in the hospital for two months, and, I hardly understood shit. I will admit, as much as it hurts to insult myself, but at the beginning of my recovery, I was a vegetable, if being a vegetable means not understanding, then so be it. I was one, but now I do understand. Just a little but hey, I am human after all. Telling somebody "they don't get it" or "they can't understand because of their damaged brain," that shit is an insult, if you had forgotten. And you're headed straight at the top of my murder list because I am sensitive. And sensitive people like me for instance, want to butcher people up for fucking making me feel inferior and a goddamn idiot who doesn't deserve to waste time on earth. Like thanks, prick. I'll fight fire with fire if I have to.

I mean, it has happened plenty of times before, from my so-called friends even, and guess what? I wanted to die, I wanted to feel something because all I could feel was worthless at the time, ya know? Because I was aware that I couldn't do shit because I still didn't have the ability to comprehend things yet. I felt like a newborn child, breathing for the first time and being spoken to, while I try to understand what others are trying to say. It took time but after all these years, (yeah, it took fucking years, because some people are slow and if you have the audacity to think you're superior to me, you're likely telling the truth because I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I fucking know for a fact that I am ignorant, but we don't have to compete because we all know you, smart one, will win.) It's not like you've been shaken around where your brain went dead for a while. But whatever, I think I can manage to make sense.

If that didn't make sense, well what is the point in living then? All that I've ever wanted in life was to write. It's just so easy to me, and people do claim that it's hard but I fucking love it! And I cuss a lot too, sorry about that, just trying to prove a point. And that point is that I love putting whatever this mind can think of down into the written word. If I can even find the correct words. Sometimes, most thoughts stay in my head and aren't exposed because I don't know how to explain it, so yeah.

If I don't make sense, ah, fuck it, let's just go to extremes and you can kill me now because a retard such as I should not be taking up so much space to live and breathe on this godforsaken planet.

Besides, people who treat me like I'm mentally challenged and can't figure out right from wrong or even when they have the nerve and the fucking balls (which I honestly do not mind ripping the fuck out) to call me dumb simply because of my brain injury need to not exist within my premises. Because I for one, will not fucking respect you. How dare you not treat me equally for once? I still got a mother fucking brain man, it still fucking works, and you have a brain too. And we are both human, so treat me like one, or like I said before, I am definitely gonna put you on my murder list.

This isn't me

Oh but I wish it was.

I wish I was honest. But not to a fault. I'd be wise enough to know when to shut up when it deems necessary.

I just wish I could cry whenever I feel upset or frustrated, but the tears don't come and so the tension stays, and what a goddamn shame that is.

I wish I wasn't so goddamn shallow. And it's quite funny actually, because I look like a deformed fucking mutant yet I have the audacity to whine and complain about the looks of other people, like it even matters to me!? Somebody should kill me, because I can't take how I am.

I wish I wasn't so fucking critical. But we're all human right? We all do it. But that's just me pointing fingers at the whole world, and its actions along with mine. Nobody should be fucking critical. For fucks sake man. I don't know why I tried to justify it through me blaming the world, but it's still immoral and wrong. Just don't judge.

If a person doesn't want to show their face online and in turn they remain anonymous, let them! Don't bash them and say they're doing it to "look cool" or they're "insecure" and if they are doing it for those things, great! Like who fucking gives a shit!? Just let them be free to do whatever the fuck they please and don't judge too harsh. Or just don't judge at all man. Just don't. It's cruel. Cruelty is coming out of your mouth every time you criticize.

I wish words didn't get to me. But they do. Oh, how they do.

Im a critical human being

That's one of my flaws.

Have you ever looked at a person, on first impression, thought; 'wow, they talk so fast, it's almost impossible to comprehend them! And they seem really, really annoying through how they dress and how their mannerisms are.'

And the things that people say, what they do, what they assume, it's made me seek out solitude and enjoy it.

Why become so defensive?

When a person does something or says something completely absurd and out of the blue, most reactions are typically against what they believe in and people are kind of, hmm, how do I put this, angry?

Angry at a person who is just stating what they believe to be true. It's okay to not believe in something as absurd, or as obnoxious or even straight up ridiculous and unbelievable as it seems but just because you might think that what they're saying makes them cruel, soulless, or just plain rude, wouldn't everybody else justify that through your defense mechanisms, you seem the same way too?

Here is a perfect example of exactly what I mean. One time, back in the Twitter days, and mind you, I had a Twitter too in order to keep myself up to date with the media news and whatnot. I posted an unbelievable saying claiming that, well one, I must be a psycho because I've been to a few mental hosptials.

That's not the case however. I am trying, trying to be completely sane and there are times when I have psychotic episodes, but most of my "followers" believed that shit. They believed I was crazy. Hahahah. It was quite funny, actually because some of them even posted shit like, "Why would you want to get with her!? She's a psycho!" yup. Ah, good times, good times. Except they were also stressful times. Times I don't want back into my life. Wellp, that's all for now folks. See ya!