Just thought I'd give a hint out to you folks, my audience. Rather, myself. I have a tendency to forget all the good shit, even more so, following my brain surgery.
All the bad shit however. That stays. So if it ever crosses your mind to hurt a poor, sensitive soul like me for no goddamn reason or because it somehow is supposedly "entertainment" to you, then you stranger, need to find a new set of hobbies. Because bringing people down, bringing anyone down is stress-inducing to the victim and it's just a horrible and unhealthy activity to participate in.
And that's another reason why I stay away from people. I am dramatic. That's for sure, so why stay around a person like me? All I would do is give you tons and tons of bullshit and drama that's only intended for soap opera theaters. Now that is how dramatic I can be. I have seen my dramatic antics turn what would have been good events to ominous ones in minutes. And the thing is, I want peace and balance for all, so I'm risking my social activity and I'm risking what's left of my sanity for you.
Besides, being around people for too long will make me lose my mind. Ahem. Sanity. That's all for the other folks out there. My sanity will be diminished. So why, oh why were people trying so hard to get me out of my house to interact with others? Yeah, I don't know man. I can be a lunatic in public, and nobody wants to be seen with a lunatic. And I'm not trying to sound philosophical or anything, but it is the truth of the matter when I say that I am but a speck of dust on this planet Earth, and all that I'm trying to do is seek happiness and fortune, and if that means avoiding interacting with others, then so be it.
Even if that means that I'll go insane for the time being. By the way, when I say things like that, you would think I regret it but I honestly don't. I'm fucking happy living my life like this. Away from the cluster-fuck of people, trying to dumb me down, as if I don't already accomplish that myself. I want to be alone, rely on myself, and the ones closest to me, if they're cool with it, and I just want to be happy without knowing about the rest of the world.
Makes me hate that technology makes me know how a lot of people look like and how they behave online due to Google, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, hell even YouTube for crying out loud. Makes me want to get into a time machine, and fall into a time period where no one really knew each other. More mysterious to me. I think that entering my personal data on the internet has ruined my life in a way. But now, I've deleted plenty of my social medias. I, personally, don't want to be social.
I've tried, in the past, but, uh, people and me? We rarely interact well. I get angry. I get aggravated yet you really can't tell unless you hit a button that's not meant to be touched and then I'm the devil in human-form. I will screech at you like a banshee, with all my might and then after that, go home and cry until I drown in my tears.
There ya go. That's who I am. My flaws. I am a devilish, yet sad blackened soul, who wants the blackness to vanish and the demonic side of me to disappear. I never liked being an emotionally abusive bitch, but I will be more than a bitch, I will hurt you so much with simple little words that are coming out of my mouth through cruelty and scorn, not truth at all. So if I offend you, just know that I'm lying. Know that I'm angry and I didn't mean a word I said. I just wanted to hurt you more than you hurt me, by straight up lying through my teeth.
No comments:
Post a Comment