Hello friend

This is my friend. This is something that listens to me. And I kind of crave that, someone lending an ear. And providing sympathy or comfort or merely acknowledgement.

It's simply nice to be able to let others know that I exist and what better way to communicate that than through words and body language?

But most of the time, when I speak, I stutter, I stammer, I don't make sense. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I even throw in some irrelevant topic and sound like a complete lunatic and it makes me want to fucking rip out this stupid tongue of mine! Oh and I forgot to mention...

Well, I hate being misunderstood. Shit, I misunderstand people all the fucking time. (I'm so sorry if my use of language is offensive to you, you have to know I don't mean it. I'm just trying to be understood, ya know? Through cuss words.) Yeah, I don't know.

I fucking hate people. Because they misinterpret whatever the fuck I am trying to convey and it makes me want to killllllll them. So bad. It makes me want to choke them at the very least. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need so much help. I need anger management. Because I am so fucking paranoid and so fucking violent. Well, secretly violent. I am verbally violent but physically!? Oh fuck no. I am trying to be a pacifist, but so much for that.

I'm going nowhere with that. I just want to meet Dalai Lama and get him to teach me how to love and cook with ease and perfection because we all know that I fucking can't.

Btw, speaking of things I can't do right. I for one can fucking admit that I am at most of average intelligence but most of the time, my actions and behavior depicts that of a complete and utter fool.

I can't cook. Can't write. Can't fucking spell for chrissakes. Can't do shit right except fucking complain. I am a complainer and I deserve death. Because complainers don't deserve to live on this wicked yet wonderful planet. Now that's me being optimistic yet realistic. The world is wicked, but it's also quite wonderful, optimistically speaking.

I fucking hate the world and my stomach fucking hurts and I just want to cry. And the movie Moonlight was pretty fantastic. Like, don't you dare step on or punch or for fucks sake beat a homosexual up or they will grow to become burly and hard.

Hard? What is hard nowadays?

I think it's when you've been let down all your life like Chiron was in Moonlight. But eventually he and his old friend Kevin reunite and he finds his way. Finds his happiness. He even fucking cries. You're not a real man unless you can shed a tear. That's my definition of hard.