Method of ease

I'm just writing to feel better.
I don't want to feel like shit anymore.
I hate feeling like that. I also hate feeling like life is meaningless and everything that I do will eventually be worthless.

Fuck. That made no sense. Excuse me. Let me restart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Forgive me before I start again.

Hello. I'm Elle. Or L or El. It matters not. Everyday of my life, my stomach tightens up a bit or no, my chest is heavy, or I tense up because something irks me. Something bothers me but sometimes I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

I wish that alchemy wasn't a dead art, because I would be practicing some herbal medicinal properties to cure this stupid depression of mine. Maybe it's still alive. Maybe it's holistic. Fuck if I know. I just don't want to be sad anymore.

I hate being sad... I don't even want to play video games and I adore video games! I have to admit, video games are pathetically my life. It's not pathetic, it's just easy to tap away at a keyboard and move a mouse or to utilize a video game controller and it's loads of fun. I don't know.

I'm sorry. Quit reading. This is it. I've had enough of this life.