No motivation

Ever go through a day, dying to let it end?

Dying for people to go away, stop putting pressure on you, stop expecting the world out of you, just stop altogether? Ever want to go into a coma for a while? Hibernate? Because so far, nothing goes my way.

And hell, it's not like I expect it too. In this world, through these trying times, not much will ever go my way, so how can I expect shit to happen exactly as I imagined it to happen? Nothing ever really does, and I'm used to it.

The world is a cruel place, especially to people who have no self-awareness and no self-reflection. Just take the time that you have out of everyday and think to yourself, look in a mirror, and state your flaws. What could be the reason you have no willingness to do a goddamned thing when you wake up to a brand new day?

No encouragement is one of them. No cheerful gestures, no kind words of support. Nothing... And that has drained me of my life and of my energy of living everyday.

Hmm, I am so dramatic... But downplay what I said earlier and then you'll get it. I was surrounded by toxic people. People who didn't believe in me. Told me I couldn't even fucking drive because of an accident that happened 5 years ago. Well, that just depleted me of all my energy to actually learn how to drive. Never took a drivers education class and tada, got into an accident that lasted 3 months in the hospital. Two days for my brain surgery because I'm kinda tiny and the air bags must not have covered my head and the windshield probably struck at my frontal lobe, mind you. So now, I'm retarded, as many people assume due to a fucking brain injury. The rest of the time, I was asleep for over a month, and then, I had to recuperate in the hospital. Had to learn how to walk again, while I got injected every fucking day. Hahah, injections are fun once you get the hang of them. I did. They don't hurt, they just poke, a lot. Well, okay.

That's it... I don't think I'll ever get over my accident. It was the biggest thing to happen in my life, other than meeting my partner in 7 days to die crime. Yeah. I guess I'm just a person who dwells on the past too often, and it drains me of everything, so it's something that's got to change about me. Otherwise, I'm hellbent for misery.